Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
