:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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