It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
