So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
