The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
