Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this will be a night to untag.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
