Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
