Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
