We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
