If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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