so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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