i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
