Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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