You really coming over, don't trick.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
