I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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