I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
