Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
