Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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