Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
