OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
