Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
