that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
