guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
