i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
