Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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