420 ftw
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
