How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
