Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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