every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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