So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
