would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
