I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
