I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
