Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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