I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
