It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
And then he peed in my hair
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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