I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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