Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
