Non-Jews are for practice
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
