wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
