Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
