i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
