Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
