super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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