How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My vagina is very pro this idea
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
