Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
