so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
