you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
