I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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