well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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