Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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