found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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