I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Buhtt sex?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
